yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
