Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
