It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize