last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
