Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
