But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
