Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
