It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
