ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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