Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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