I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
jump out the window naked night went bad
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize