I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I love you.
Bad choice
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