shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
should my penis look like a turkey
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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