So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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