yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it was like his penis was on wheels.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
