i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize