Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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