she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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