I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
