I heard we made out
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
