It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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