I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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