You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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