I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
