please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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