I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
