New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
