I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
