Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
