In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
