One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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