ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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