why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
