if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
