You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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