I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
