He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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