i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
