i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
