We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
