We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
