is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
