I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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