.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
