The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how can u be prego again
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
