Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
