yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
