Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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