Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
