the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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