I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Randomize