Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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