I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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