At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
im about as happy as oj after his trial
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
