i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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