No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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