he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
