It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
