Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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