Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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