Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
