NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
