he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
