I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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