this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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