ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
